Today I’m all about Failing! Audio, Video and a longer Post about my thoughts on this topic. Enjoy!
Or Listen Here (also available on iTunes)
How Failing Can Keep You From Failing
There is a special moment in life.
This moment before doing something that seems Crazy Big. Where desire and discomfort mingle.
Can I make it?
What’s going to happen?
Am I going to be rejected, accepted, winning, losing, be famous, earn a lot, finally be this person I want to be?
All this noise in our minds!
I guess it’s been the same for you, I’ve had tons of these moments in my life.
And 2 things can happen at this stage.
Either I do it anyway. Or I’m doing my “chicken”. 2 possibilities with 2 consequences:
– the “chicken-attitude” leads to regrets. Nothing positive about it, except that it fuels my desire to never do it again!
– the “do-it-anyway” attitude leads to no regrets. The worse that can happen is that what I’m daring to do is not working. But is it true? Actually, there is always something positive coming from such moments, like:
— being proud of me and gaining confidence
— finding a new way, a new idea that I didn’t see before
— getting the result that I was hoping
I’ve just been through this book called Antifragile . The principle is simple. Every living creature is antifragile. Which means that the more we are failing, the more we are breaking into pieces, the more we grow stronger.
Ok, this book is much more complicated than that (I actually cannot finish it, I have too many neuron cells building from it, it’s a dangerous place where I could become too intelligent, maid maide!), it applies to civilisations, politics, fitness and much more.
And when I think of my life here is what I remember from failing:
– about Dating: I’ve done the chicken bit many times. Didn’t have the courage to make the first step with the girl I wanted when I was teenager, and when I finally did it, it was awkward and quite pathetic (don’t laugh, I’m sure you’ve done the same!), though finally I was released from the pressure of doing it! Anyway, she was gone, as many others (it seems I needed to learn this one a good number of times), till I decided to go for it all the time.
What I learned is that actually it’s quite exciting to go for it, and that I love this thrill! Plus it placed me in a improvisation and free state of mind.
Of course at first, it was all but this natural and easy. And with practice, I learned to not care about it. I come back to this point right now.
– about Peak Performances: my best tennis match ever, I did it without caring to win! On the other hand, the times where I did want to win, it get me tense, nervous, and easily tired, far from my best level.
– about Business: many times I told myself “Ok, I’ll dare once I’ve done this step, then this one, then this one.” What I’ve learned is that too much preparation kills results too. Another chicken in the house!
I think I could go on and on about this topic for hours. Let’s make it simple with my point as follow.
Do you want to achieve Crazy Big Things in your life?
Do you want to be a amazing Peak Performer and win the biggest rewards in your field?
Do you want to be part of the group of these guys we say: “Wow. How can he do this kind of things?”
There is a secret that respond positively to these questions. Actually it’s not a secret, but it sounds good to say it’s a secret.
To achieve anything, learn to FAIL and fail and fail again.
If you don’t fail, keep pushing, you haven’t been far enough. Go to this scary place, where you feel vulnerable, wondering what would happen, whether you’ll be rejected or whether you’ll be able to make it. And do it!
One more thing, a spiritual lesson.
Nothing is important. We’re living an illusion, taking our lives very seriously. Well, on a spiritual level, we’re just a soul living a physical experience so who cares whether we’re going to make money, getting the wife of our dreams or winning or next competition? If it doesn’t work, this is a great lesson we’re getting in front of us. If it does work, we’re also getting a lesson. So, we learn anyway.
So, let’s DARE. And fail. And Dare again.
At some point, we won’t care (at least not so much) about the results. And probably at this point we’ll be looking at our lives and say: “Wow, I have such a great life now!”
Happy Failing to everyone!
A few more inspiration
Here is a video I did this week. It’s ridiculous. And yet, the kind of moment I’m talking about at the beginning of this post, where I felt the excitement vs the chicken possibility, so I did it. And I’m posting it.
If I can do something ridiculous like this, maybe you can dare to do something too!?!
Last but not the least, I’ve decided to increase the volume of daring and trying to fail this week, so I’m doing my best to contact 3 famous guys to interview for my book Flow Tennis.
What are you going to dare to do this week?